three squirrels

squirrels were featured heavily in my day today. i love them, so this was a good thing--mostly.

this morning i was out in the yard with my husband when i heard a slight crashing noise in the tree next to my head. when i turned to the right, there was a somewhat surprised squirrel looking right at me. she had jumped from our garage roof into the tree, on her way down into the yard. i laughed and said to her, "you didn't realize we were here, did you?" and she just stared at me for a few moments. evidently, she determined that she was safe, and she climbed down the trunk of the tree and wandered toward me on the grass. she got very close--within five feet--and then ambled over toward the birdfeeder, where she dug around in the grass looking for discarded seeds. we have a few squirrels who do this every day in our backyard, but we had never been standing so close to one of them before! i told my husband that i've always wanted to pet a squirrel's tail; they seem so soft. she stayed near us in the yard for about 10 or 15 minutes, and we loved just watching her do her thing. oddly enough, we had our camera with us, so my husband got several cute shots of her. eventually she found a gigantic acorn or something, got very excited, and dashed away to bury it in our neighbor's garden. heh.

after she left, i walked to the gym and went about my daily junk. a couple of hours later, i was out for another walk in my neighborhood. i was about 5 blocks away from my house when i noticed a very still body on the sidewalk ahead--a squirrel. as i approached i had a feeling of dread; sadness because i knew she was dead, combined with fear that she might not be. i always worry about what to do in a situation where i come across a badly injured animal--the element of suffering paralyzes me. in any case, as i got closer, she appeared to be no longer with us. my initial thought was that a cat had killed her, but she didn't have any visible injuries. i realized i was beneath a very large tree, and deduced that she must have fallen out. i felt so sad looking at her, and i crouched down to make certain that she wasn't breathing. she wasn't.

i was running late for an appointment already, and i started to panic. i didn't want to leave her there in the middle of the sidewalk; it didn't seem "proper" somehow. she was very near a driveway, and the idea that a car would run her over made me sick. i also didn't want to just trust that someone else would take care of her. i had to figure out what to do myself, but i didn't have any ideas or any supplies with me. i hemmed and hawed, knowing i was late already but also knowing i couldn't leave her there. i noticed that the tree we were under had been dropping bunches of leaves; the kind where they are still attached to little twig-branches. i decided i would move her near the trunk of the tree, and cover her with piles of the green leafy twigs. it was the best i could do.

as i was looking around at the little leafy branches, i gasped. there was another squirrel--also sprawled on the sidewalk, also dead--not even six inches away from the first one. i have no idea how i didn't see her before, but i must have just been so sucked into what i was doing that i was hyper-focused on the first poor baby. now that i knew there were two, i had a feeling that they were probably chasing each other in the tree, as squirrels are wont to do, and just fell out together. it made my heart hurt to think about it--silly crazy squirrels, playing in the tree one minute, dead on the sidewalk the next minute. or at least i hope it was that quick. ugh. my stomach hurts.

anyway, i stuck with my original plan, and i gently moved them both under the tree, next to the trunk. i put them close together, apologized to them, had a little moment with them, and then i covered them up with tons of leafy twigs. my main strategy was just to get them out of further harm's way, give them some sort of dignified rest. my solution was probably lame and not perfectly thought out, but i didn't know what else to do, given the circumstances.

i had to keep moving and get to my appointment, so i did that and attempted not to think so vividly of how they died. it occurred to me, about a block later, that i didn't even pet their tails.