vegan chai

exceptions

on wednesday i spent the day at my mother's house, with my sister and her daughter, helping my mom clean her basement. it was just a big pile of fun, as you might imagine. anyhow, to pay us back, my mom bought us lunch, which i ran out to pick up. after we were done eating, my mom went into the kitchen for a minute, and then when she came back she put a piece of chocolate in front of me. as she did so, she said, "i don't think you'll want this, because it's milk chocolate," and then gave my (lacto-ovo) sister a piece as well, and then she sat down at the other end of the table with her own piece.

i thought it was a little weird.

i have been vegan for almost three years now, and although the first month or two of my veganism was slightly "transitional" (in that i ate one of my grandma's christmas cookies, for example), i can honestly say that it's been YEARS since anything like that has happened. she has been around me countless times when other people have had birthday cake and i've gone without (or, alternatively, i've baked the birthday cake so that everyone--me included--can eat it). she's seen me skip over plenty of candy dishes. i have no idea why she even grabbed a third piece of chocolate for me... was she just trying to "keep it fair" and have something to offer me? or did she think there was a chance that i might say, "ah, just this once," and eat it? i'm not sure, and i didn't ask. i simply replied, "yep, you're right," and handed my piece over to my sister.

anyway, it got me thinking about the exceptions that we make sometimes. as i mentioned, i had a brief transitional period when i went vegan (aside from the christmas cookie of my gram's, i remember distinctly getting pancakes at a restaurant a couple of times), but it didn't last long and it's been ages since i've thought of "compromising." when i was vegetarian, though, i was a lot more flexible. i think sometimes i don't like to remember or admit that, but i had a conversation on thursday that reminded me just how much i confused my ethics sometimes. i was at a meeting with a friend/colleague and our research assistant, and it was my friend's birthday, so i had baked cupcakes (pumpkin chocolate chip, with cinnamon glaze) for the occasion. i remembered while i was baking them that this particular friend was the first person who got me to try pumpkin, which eventually turned into a bit of an obsession for me, so i thought these cupcakes were a fitting birthday tribute.

anyway, when i presented the cupcakes at our meeting, i told this little story about how she first introduced me to pumpkin, and she was surprised--evidently i hadn't made a big deal of it at the time, which in retrospect (given the point of this entry) makes a lot of sense. but anyhow, as i was explaining to them about the pumpkin, she said, much to my horror, "oh yeah, that's the dinner when i made my lasagna with the ground turkey for you!"

i was immediately confused, embarrassed, certain she was wrong, and i felt very much "on display" or "called out" or something. i said, "what? no! really?" but it dawned on me that she was absolutely right. i was vegetarian then (this was about six years ago), but i had compromised when she offered to make her lasagna with ground turkey instead of beef, and i said that would be fine. i had totally and completely forgotten about that, but now she was saying it out loud in front of an audience, and i felt like a jackass. she said, "well you weren't vegan then!" and i said, "right, right," and i just wanted so badly to talk about the cupcakes again, which is basically what happened.

if i am really honest with myself i can remember lots of "exceptions" that i made during the 11 years that i was vegetarian, before going vegan. i ate jello for a long long time, and i gave up tuna much later than any other meat, just to name a couple of examples. now i am kind of ashamed of that, because over the past few days i have thought about WHY i did that: it was solely to make other people more comfortable with me. i never had secret private meat binges--it was totally a social thing. i was uncomfortable being "the weirdo" so i compromised my beliefs occasionally to make myself look more flexible, approachable, "normal," the list goes on and on. i did this with my family, my friends, and even my own husband. so i guess i can't really blame my mom for being a bit confused--back in the day, i could be a little wishy-washy around my loved ones.

looking back, i understand why i did it, but it makes me sad that i felt that was the solution. now i understand (and i have for the past three years) that there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a certain ethical belief and sticking to it. i am totally comfortable being vegan and in fact i absolutely adore being vegan. it feels right to me, i feel "at peace" this way, and even though it does create slightly awkward scenarios at times, i never EVER feel like i should make exceptions. i don't know if it's because veganism lines up all of the ethical considerations i have always held dear in a neat and tidy package--in a way that mere vegetarianism can't satisfy--which makes it so much easier to feel confident in my decision... or if it's because i've grown as a person and have a stronger backbone... or if it's because i realize that everyone will still like me even if i don't put butter on my bread... or maybe it's a combination of those things. in any event, i'm very relieved that i've gotten to this place.

the TAFA controversy via josh hooten

i have been very extremely behind in my herbivore reading, but thanks to the fantastic ryan at vegblog, i was alerted to this amazing column that josh posted last week. (he has made it public, so you don't need to be an herbivore subscriber to read it.) in it he discusses the controversy of having "humane meat" farmers speaking on a panel at a recent "animal rights" conference (Taking Action For Animals). many people in the AR community have been pretty shell-shocked at this news, but josh's column is an extremely well-written, well-thought-out discussion of what's so messed up about this whole thing. i agreed with absolutely everything he said, so i'm going to plug the column here. it really deserves your attention, for serious. clicky the link to read teh goods.

living with ed, season 2

you may recall that i watched living with ed on HGTV over the winter, and you may also recall that ed begley jr. emailed me(!!), because i am awesome. heh. well, i just found out that the show will be back for a new season (already!) starting in less than two weeks. w00t!

here's a snippet of the email i just received:

The green room takes on a whole new meaning for the celebrity pals of Emmy-nominated actor and committed environmentalist Ed Begley, Jr. in the second season of HGTV's popular, critically-acclaimed, eco-friendly series Living With Ed. The series will kick off with two back-to-back airings on Sunday, August 26 at 10 p.m. EST and Monday, August 27 at 10:30 p.m. EST, followed by Sunday, September 2 at 10 p.m. ET and Monday, September 3 at 10:30 p.m. ET. Living With Ed will then air in its regular weekly prime time slot on Mondays at 10:30 p.m. ET beginning September 10.

One of the first programs to debut in the growing "green" TV genre, the vanguard series returns bigger, better and greener than ever with 13 new episodes that will find Begley and wife Rachelle Carson dispensing more tips and practical ideas on how anyone can lead a greener lifestyle. In a special new twist this season, Ed ventures out beyond his own green acres to give viewers a peek inside the homes and properties of other Hollywood personalities who are either looking for advice from Begley or eager to share the innovative ways they are working toward environmentally-conscious living.

Jay Leno, Bradley Whitford, Larry Hagman, Sharon Lawrence and Jackson Browne are among the celebrities who are expected to share their "green" journeys with Begley and HGTV viewers. In each half-hour episode, cameras will follow Ed as he gives and gets guidance and inspiration on how everyone can incorporate easy, attractive, practical and affordable "green" ideas into their daily lives.

tune in, won't you? it's pretty entertaining.  he is just so eager and endearing, you have to love him.

zen

i changed my template again. i get bored with these things somewhat easily. sorry if it makes me seem flighty! there are a couple of things i don't like about this one (compared to the old one), but i do quite enjoy the colors and the "idea" of the theme, so i'm going to let it settle and see how it grows on me.

i hope you likey. or at least not hatey.

the fantastic news update

a few of you already know this news, but a bunch of you don't, and i've been horribly negligent with this amazing update, so here goes!

regular readers (as if i've been so difficult to keep up with lately! heh) will remember finley's extremely scary health drama back in april. i mentioned in may that things were looking up, but his next step was the three-month follow-up ultrasound in july. the closer his appointment got, the more nervous i became. there was no real reason for it; i just tend to get paranoid as vet appointments approach. i'm always afraid some big scary thing will be discovered and the whole thing gives me a tummyache.

anyway, we combined his follow-up sonogram with his upcoming yearly exam (because he is SO afraid of going to the vet), and we dropped him off the morning of. we went to a restaurant a couple of blocks away for breakfast, tried in vain to distract ourselves, and then went back to wait for him to be ready for his "regular" exam. while waiting in the lobby, one of the vet techs (who is very familiar with us, and with finley, and who had been assisting with his ultrasound that day) came out to ask us whether they could take repeat x-rays to compare with the ones they took in april. she didn't really say anything good or bad, but it made me totally nervous anyway. we told her yes, of course, and she disappeared for a little while.

a few minutes later she reappeared with finley (looking nervous but really happy to see us) and told us we could go into an exam room now. she got us set up, and then just said "the doctor will be in shortly," and left. she was friendly, but again--no good news, no bad news. it scared me.

the longer we waited with finely, the more my stomach was killing me. i was a complete wreck, and i was trying so hard NOT to be, because i didn't want my stress and fear to transfer to poor finley. eventually we could hear the doctor talking through the door, and the only snippet we caught was "heart is definitely smaller." we weren't exactly sure what that meant, but we didn't have to wait long.

she opened the door with a huge smile on her face and said, "well, i have FANTASTIC news for you!" and honestly i think a gallon of adrenaline shot through me all at once. she said that both she and the heart specialist (who conducted the ultrasound) were extremely pleasantly surprised to note that finley's heart was almost completely back to normal, which is not only unexpected, but somewhat unheard of. his heart had reduced in size, the extreme thickening in the walls of his heart had lessened considerably (from a 17 down to a 12.7, when "normal" is a 12), and everything was functioning extremely well. my notes say, "AV block is resolved, septum is almost normal, heart is almost perfect. slightly enlarged right atrium, blood pressure very good, EKG weirdness now normal." as she put it: "we're not talking stabilized condition, we're talking reversal of heart disease. this is just amazing."

i was so relieved and happy and excited and dumbfounded i didn't know what to do. every time i tried to talk, i felt myself starting to cry. i just couldn't believe it. they couldn't either--the vet told us that the specialist said something along the lines of, "honestly, i'm very surprised this cat made it; i didn't think he would"--but obviously everyone was completely thrilled!

so, no one is really sure what exactly happened to poor little finley. they're calling it "unclassified cardiomyopathy; characteristics of arrythmogenic cardiomyopathy," and it appears that he had some kind of "event" that we (thankfully) got him over/through and now he's doing just great. we were able to take him off the lasix right away that day; we're keeping him on the blood pressure/aspirin regimen as a precaution, because a severe cardiac event like that can create scarring inside the heart, and our vet wanted to be on the safe side there. in any case, as long as he remains asymptomatic we should be basically in the clear. they'd like him to come in for another follow-up ultrasound in november, just to see how everything looks. i'm certain i'll be terrified again once that rolls around, but for now i'm basking in relief and happiness.

the fledgling

as i was pulling into my driveway this evening, i noticed that there was a little sparrow standing right smack in the middle of everything; about halfway between me and the garage, near our back door. i pulled in very slowly, and realized that it didn't seem like he was planning on moving anytime soon. he didn't seem hurt; just content. i had a hunch that he might be a baby, so i stopped my car and got out.

as i approached him, he just kind of looked at me in that cute little bird way. before i got too close, my husband noticed that i was in the driveway (which probably seemed weird since i normally would be way over by the garage), and he was looking out the window at me with a puzzled look on his face. i gestured toward the little bird, and then he understood. just then, i must have gotten a little too close for the bird's comfort, and he stretched out his little juvenile wings--in a display of effort, or just for show, i'm not sure. regardless, it was pretty hilarious. he still had naked armpits.

i stopped and took a step backwards, talking to him the whole time. my husband started to come outside, but i sent him back in for the camera. this was definitely a baby, probably on one of his early flights, and i think he was just resting and/or trying to get his wits about him before trying again. i went back to my car so i could turn it off, since i wasn't sure how long we'd be waiting, and then i came back and sat cross-legged on the concrete nearby. he let me sit pretty close to him; by then i think he realized we didn't pose any real threat.

one reason i wanted to "babysit" him was just because i LIVE for stuff like this--hanging out with unexpected wildlife that lets me get close is just one of my favorite things. but on a more practical note, we live right next door to a cat who roams freely, and he kills absolutely everything he can. but that's for another post. anyway, we really wanted to make sure that this little baby would be safe from oscar, so we decided to hang out with him and wait. the fledgling, for his part, decided to go ahead and lie down--it was like he thought the driveway was a nest. he just kind of snuggled down on the concrete. so cute!

my husband took a bunch of really sweet pictures of him, and we just chatted with him while we waited. about 5-10 minutes passed, and suddenly i became aware of a nearby chirping. i looked around, and sure enough, his mama was on the edge of our neighbor's roof, cheep-cheeping down at the baby. he looked up at her and started chirping back. they went back and forth like this, several times, and the mother flew back and forth between our roof and our neighbor's, getting more and more excited.

once she realized we were "safe," she flew down closer to us, almost hovering in mid-air, as if to say, "come on, kiddo, flap just like this! you can do it!" and the baby started getting really riled up. she demonstrated like this a couple of times, and then flew into a tree right next to our garage. that was all it took--the baby spread his little tiny wings and flew right into the tree after her. i swear, it was one of the neatest things i'd ever seen. i teared up a little bit. i'm such a sap. yay baby birds!